Black Hearts before Sorrowful Souls
by Octobers-Blessing
Summary: Sequel to Mistaken. ...I had stopped fighting the inevitable and let this miracle of love take over me...He raised his hands up to my face. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, my voice soft as I recited the beloved word that was his name...Please R and R.
1. Secret Lover

**... Black Hearts before Sorrowful Souls ...**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the characters.**_

_Okay – this is the sequel to Mistaken. I think this fic will make more sense if you read Mistaken first… But hey, not forcing you to, lol. Okay, I'll do this like I did that. Here's a scene that will wind up somewhere in the middle – and then I'll get around to posting an actual chapter. Enjoy!_

I gasped as his warm lips left mine, my entire body had become his. Whatever he wanted, he could take. Whatever I wanted, he could give. I had stopped fighting the inevitable and let this miracle of love take over me. He had accepted me, despite my pain.

His hands ran up my bare arms, causing me to shiver with pleasure. I could see his smile in the teasing moonlight. I could hear his heartbeat as he pulled me closer. I could smell his excitement…

He raised his hands up to my face. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, my voice soft as I recited the beloved word that was his name.

"Yeah?" He ran his thumb over my eyebrows. I felt myself break into a fever of longing. I _so_ wanted him. I _so_ needed him. How had I not realized, this entire time? He had been _right there_.

"I should go… Mrs. Neil will be worried."

"Let me come with you," He breathed, his face desperate. He didn't want me to leave.

"I'm fine… I-I will be fine," I couldn't stop my voice from shaking as he took my hand, his fingers lacing through my own.

"If you say so."

_Gah! I swear it's not as bad as it looks… I let a friend read this and she practically exploded… Seriously, no lemon. She's just wearing a sleeveless shirt. Hahaha. Anyway, who do you think it is? Like I'mma gonna tell. Please drop a review! I'll try and get chapter one typed up today – I've written it out._


	2. Thank You

**... Black Hearts before Sorrowful Souls ...**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the characters.**_

_Thank you all for the reviews, alerts, and favorites! (Though I've barely posted anything :)) Please enjoy._

**1** **–** **Thank You.**

"School starts in a few days," Mrs. Neil hummed. "Are you looking forward to it?"

"Not really, Mrs. Neil," I mumbled, playing with my cheerios. How could I look forward to all the stares I'd receive? Sensitive people would tell me that they were sorry for my loss while those more obnoxious would ask for details of the murder. I lifted a spoonful of soggy cereal to my mouth but lost all will to eat it. Liam, Mrs. Neil's youngest son, had stopped by to help move in the rest of my things. He started to take the bowl from me, his eyebrows lifted. I shrugged and pushed it towards him. Mrs. Neil slapped his outstretched hand with a wooden spoon.

"She needs to eat. Ari, dear, would you prefer pancakes? I'm almost done."

"No thank you, Mrs. Neil."

"I told you to call me Lisa, dear," She gave a friendly smile. I returned it with an empty one of my own. I guess it would be okay to say that she saw me as the daughter she almost had. She had had a daughter – born two months before I was. Her daughter died at birth, strangled by her umbilical cord. I shuddered at the thought that I had been wearing diapers that belonged to a dead baby.

I guess calling her Lisa was the least I could do…

"No thank you, Lisa…" I wrinkled my nose. "I'm fine."

Mrs. Neil started to say something, but the doorbell interrupted her. "I'll get it," She said, setting her spoon down on the table. "Liam – watch the stove, will you?"

I followed Mrs. Neil to the door, wondering if it was another vase of flowers or a card. Mrs. Neil carefully unlocked the door (she and Mr. Neil had installed video cameras and updated their alarm system in an attempt to prevent anything from happening) and opened it to reveal a tanned, petite girl whose face was hidden behind a bunch of flowers with two equally tan people standing behind her. The Floros family.

"Hello, Lisa. Is Ari here? We just wanted to-"

"So-So!" I gasped, pushing Mrs. Neil aside in my excitement. I hugged her and started to laugh, crushing the flowers against my chest as I spun around the foyer, jumping up and down. "How was Greece? I missed you so much! Did you find you Greek god?" I knew exactly why they had come and hoped to play it off. I was just managing to take a stroll around the neighborhood without crying at the sight of my house – I didn't want to deal with remembering that they were dead. How had I managed an entire summer without my dearest So-So? How had I managed this summer without her? It seemed like a lifetime ago that I had spoke to my best friend, instead of a couple of months.

"Greece was fabulous! I missed you, too. The donkey guy was cute. I've got a ton of pictures." I was glad she decided to humor me. She knew how I took to loss. She had been the one who had gotten me to talk after two weeks of silence after the death of my puppy when I was six. Maybe it was because her mother was a psychiatrist, or maybe it was because she understood me better than most.

"Sophia…"

I looked up and smiled at her parents. "Hello Mr. Floros. Hello Mrs. Floros." I released Sophia and took the now bent flowers. "Thank you for coming by. I hope you had a good time on your vacation." I could feel myself becoming the polite, reserved person I had locked away. It came up like a bitter taste of vomit – like I knew it was coming and I couldn't do a thing to prevent it. Once it came out completely, everything would become a mess.

"Sorry we couldn't make the funeral," Sophia gave a sad smile. "I'm sure it was beautiful."

"It was," I took Sophia's arm. "I was waiting for your call. I'm sure you're going to have a lot of fun critiquing my wardrobe."

Sophia turned to her parents. "Can I stay? I'll be home by ten – I swear."

Mrs. Floros glanced at her husband and shrugged. "If it's fine with Lisa."

"Oh, Sophia's welcome whenever."

"Okay then," Mr. Floros sent Sophia a sharp look that I found hard to understand. "Have fun girls."

"Bye!" Sophia skipped past Mrs. Neil, totally ignoring her. "How was your summer? Oops, I mean…"

"Boring," I shrugged. Again – the insensitive vomit just came up. How could I call my summer boring? I found out I was part of some historical pack destined to fight the enemy – vampires, one of which just happened to be the love of my predestined, future love Jacob Black. Oh, life _sucked_.

Especially when you decided to keep all this information from a future psychiatrist. One way or another…she was bound to find out.

"Boring?" Sophia arched a slender, black, perfectly shaped eyebrow. "In you boredom did you just happen to take some steroids?"

"Huh?"

"Look at you!" She waved her hands; her expression was one of mock disgust. "We were supposed to be shorties together, forever! You had to go and get…_tall_. But – you look awesome. Are you an exercise addict now? I bet you have abs."

I looked down at myself, blinking in amazement. It was like being a fifth grader in school and standing beside the kindergartners. I couldn't imagine myself really growing any. I knew I had grown some, but I hadn't noticed the change of height as much as Sophia had. Maybe it was because we had been the same height when we had last seen each other.

"Sorry, little So-So."

"Hey! _Respect_ you elders," She grinned. "Sixteen as of September twenty-third, baby."

I paused at the door of the guestroom (my room, but I had yet to see it that way) and opened the door to let her in. Sophia blinked at the color. "Orange and blue, huh? Nice – navy blue. You know what else is blue? The Mediterranean!"

"Ha, ha. How did you enjoy your trip? Still jetlagged?"

"'Twas fun! And no, I'm not. Regulated my clock with Red Bull and Starbucks."

"That would explain your twitching eye," I laughed. "Here we are." I threw open the closet door. Sophia rubbed her chin, her brown eyes narrowed as she examined my pathetically undersized articles of clothing.

"Won't do at all. Oh, can I have this? It'll barely reach your ankles, anyway."

"Sure," I eyed her as she proceeded to strip the hangers of clothes. She recognized one of Aki's sweatshirts and left it alone, subtlety maneuvering her hands to brush past the piece without so much as touching it. When Sophia was done I had almost no clothes left.

"We need to go shopping."

"Do we, really?" Every vowel dripped with sarcasm. Sophia ignored me, a bright grin flashing across her sun-tanned face.

"Yeah – duh. None of your clothes fit well, anyway." She climbed onto the mountain of clothes she had set aside in the corner and declared as hers. "To the mall!"

She definitely was not one to give caffeine to.

Her excitement was quickly shut down, however, when she realized neither of us could drive, which meant we had no form of transportation.

"Oh, he's back from college? Hey, Liam!" Sophia hissed as he passed the open door. He paused, his head bobbing to form some sort of nod as he held a basket of laundry in his arms. I sniffed. Laundry made me think of Aki. Aki made me think of my parents. My parents made me think of death. Death made me think of vampires. Vampires made me think of Bella. Bella made me think of Jacob – who would now be lonely, unless he had taken my advice and had decided to make me jealous. And Jacob made me think of…

I sighed.

Sophia made her way to the door, taking slow, deliberate steps. She leaned against the doorframe and twirled a wavy strand of hair around her finger. "Hi, Liam. Ari's in major need of clothes, but we have no way to get to the mall," She pouted. "Could I ask you a favor? Could you please drop us? We'll find a ride back…"

Liam shrugged, shifting the laundry in his arms. "Hey, don't worry. I'll even stay the whole day – I wouldn't mind buying a new battery for my laptop. Will you be ready in ten minutes?"

"Yes!" Sophia clapped, bouncing. She looked as if she were about to ricochet around the room. "Thank you!"

He left with another careless shrug. I rolled my eyes. "You are gifted, my friend."

"Ha. You should've seen me with the donkey guy! He had the dreamiest eyes," She gave a sigh full of longing. "Oh, well. I have his address. He's going to be my new penpal!"

She waited for my reply, but I could do no more than shake my head.

**x—x**

"Beautiful!" Sophia clapped as I stepped in front of the mirror.

"Sophia, I can't wear this." I eyed myself, wondering how much of her 'clock regulators' she had had to drink in order to mess with her mental stability. How had she even found something this short? Was it legal? "Every time I move I violate the dress code!"

"Fine," She sighed, waving me away as she wandered away from the changing section to look at clothes. I changed into my former clothes and made my own selections. Sophia sniffed.

"All short sleeve? I don't know… won't you be cold?"

I shrugged. "Nah, I'm...hot blooded." Sophia turned her attention to the cashier, pulling out a visa. I bit the inside of my cheek, deliberating whether or not to tell her why I was hot blooded.

But I wasn't allowed to – best friend or not. But… What if what happened to my parents happened to her? They had only been human – she was only human. Besides the Neils, she was probably the only other thing I had left…in this life. My totally, completely human life. I blinked back tears. "Sophia…"

"Mhmm?" She took her receipt and stepped aside so I could hand the cashier my own clothes.

"Thanks for…everything. For being human."

_Okay. Next chapter will be… Ari's POV? I guess. Then maybe a JPOV. I still have to write them… Thanks for all the reviews! Ten already, shweet! Okay, I won't take long – I'll go start on the second chapter. I'll try not to make the next few chapters painfully slow, but if they are, many apologies._


	3. Losing Tradition

**… Black Hearts before Sorrowful Souls …**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the characters.**_

_Yay for reviews! Lol, I'll happily answer your questions, Lena. And yes, imprinting and alpha leadership was played down, I'm sorry… ((kicks random can)) but this fic'll go into more depth with all of that. I think. I hope. Hmm… Anywho – Sophia just came back from Greece, so I guess she could have written it off as sunburn? Besides, she was hyped up on Red Bull and Starbucks…She notices in this chap, though! Why isn't Ari really hungry like other werewolves…? I dunno – mind over matter? XD I actually had a bit of that written out…salmon bake…expect that in the future. Heh, heh. Why isn't she bound to the pack? Like – why did she leave or why doesn't she feel the connection with them? If it's the second one, I'd say it's because her immediate family is dead, therefore she's able to block out the feeling of belonging/whatnot. At least for now. Ha! And what was with the bra-unclasping thing? I don't know… Ask my muse. She's out of it. And yes, grammar and mistakes and typos are mean… ((sigh)) I'll try to do better with that in Black Hearts. And if anyone points anything out I'll go back and edit it! I actually found like, four mistakes in the last chapter…gah…_

_That's it for my too long author's note. Please enjoy chapter two!_

**2** **– Losing Tradition.**

Sophia took a bite of pizza and squinted at the paper in her hands, trying to read past the sauce stain she just made across the paper. "Um, let's see. First period I have pre calculus honors."

"Me, too." I made a face. I despised all kinds of math while Sophia, on the other hand, was a genius. "Well, second I have physics."

"Same."

"Third I have…" I wiggled my newly painted toes. Sophia had painted them a – as she called it – spicy orange. "Team sports."

Sophia shook her head. "Yoga."

"Fourth is world three."

"With Mr. Tripp?"

"Yes."

"Cool, me too."

"Fifth and sixth are medical science and Spanish three."

"Fifth and sixth for me are psychology and French three."

I refolded my schedule and put it on the table that held various junk foods. School started in two days. We had a tradition of spending our next to last day of summer together and having a sleep over. I started the DVD player and watched for a minute before getting bored with the movie previews and returning my attention to Sophia. She pulled a black organizer from under the pillow she was sitting on and removed her pen from behind her ear.

"Trevor."

"What?" She said it in such a way... As if the word was supposed to bring up some discussion that I had been ready for, and dreading. I was actually surprised Sophia had been able to go an hour without mentioning him.

She looked up at me. "Has he asked you out yet?"

"Why should he?" I leaned over to see what she was writing. The highlighted words announcing her birthday made my head hurt. It was a calendar. September fifth marked the first day of school. That weekend I saw the word party scribbled in hasty ink. Sophia snapped the book shut and glared at me.

"Why shouldn't he? Don't worry – this is your year. Remember Jordan? He's best friends with Trevor."

I couldn't see where she was going with this. I grabbed a bottle of water and opened it. "So?"

"So – I've gotten about forty texts saying the four of us should hang out."

I took a sip of my water, downing it totally before crushing the plastic in my fist. I ignored Sophia's face. "Well if all four of us should hang out, why hasn't the fourth gotten any text messages?"

"Are you mad or something?"

I narrowed my eyes and stared at her without answering. Her wavy black hair was caught back in a high ponytail, her pretty nut brown eyes a little more than frightened. I finally shook my head, dropping the unrecognizable piece of plastic that had once been a reasonably full bottle of water.

"_Okay_… Well, Trevor was _supposed_ to call you, but things have been awkward and he didn't really know…"

"Jordan asked you out."

Sophia looked away, twiddling her thumbs. "Maybe."

"And you're just trying to make me feel better?"

"No! Well, yes of course I would want to – but I'm not lying, I swear! Trevor wants to go out with you, too. He just didn't want to ask because he thought-"

"-I wouldn't want a relationship right now," I grabbed a bag of baked Lays angrily and ripped it open. Sophia gasped as chips flew out in all directions.

"Ari," She cringed away from me. "What did I do?"

"_Nothing_," I growled madly, angry with myself. Sophia blinked rapidly. I could tell that she was debating whether it would be better if she tried to talk to me, to figure out what was wrong, or to simply leave. I closed my eyes and took a breath.

"Sorry, So-So, I'm better now. It's just…frustrating."

She took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, chick, don't worry about it. You've still got family…" Her voice trailed off as she dropped my hand and raised her own to her face. I glanced at her.

"You okay?"

"Are _you_ okay? You must have some wicked fever. The other day, when you hugged me, I… I thought it was sunburn, but when I checked I didn't have any. How high is it?"

I squinted at her. "Is what?"

"Your fever!" Sophia cried, exasperated. She wasn't used to seeing anything like my sudden fit of anger or my sulking moodiness. She must have thought I was going crazy.

"I don't…have one?"

"Wow. I think you're delirious."

"I'm not," I snorted, picking up a chip and taking a bite. I winced as the salt burned on my tongue. I could taste the blood in my mouth from the cut I had created when I bit down too hard. I swallowed and gagged at the taste. Sophia crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes were narrowed and her brow was furrowed. It was a face I had seen often enough, probably more than anyone else. I had two minutes before Sophia would start her therapy session. That was the last thing I wanted.

"Are you sick? You're shivering."

"Sophia, maybe it'd be better if you just went home," I couldn't look at her. I couldn't stand myself right now. I knew she'd understand most of frustration, at least everything non-werewolf related. Despite that, she'd become angry with me because I was angry with myself.

Not only did life suck but it also wasn't fair. Not that I didn't know that. Ever since my family died I was forced to realize that life wasn't fair.

And again: it sucked.

"Sure, I'll go," Sophia didn't bother to hide her disappointment as she gathered her things. "See you later."

I watched her go with a sigh. A few minutes later, Liam cautiously entered the room, his hair disheveled. He frowned at the sight of me alone. "Sophia left?"

"You know you're in only wearing your boxers, right?"

"Um…I'm going back upstairs," He grabbed the pizza box and left. I waited silently for at least ten minutes before the sound of the movie pulled me back to the present. Sophia had brought it. I sighed and stood up, turning off the DVD player and going to my room. I grabbed a pair of shoes and stuck my feet in them, not bothering to tie the shoe laces. I started towards the door, then wheeled away when Mr. Neil came out of the computer room to intercept my route of escape. He looked surprised.

"Are you going out?"

"Yes, Mr. Neil," I turned back around and crossed my arms over my chest.

"By yourself?"

"Yes, Mr. Neil," Unlike Mrs. Neil, he didn't try to persuade me to call him by his first name. I guess he had come to realize that it was a lost cause.

"Dressed…like that?"

I shrugged, thinking nothing of my appearance. I was wearing sweatpants and a large tee shirt. I glanced down at myself, then sighed softly, realizing to whom the shirt belonged. My fingers trailed the sleeve as I fingered the black material. I guess I had accidentally stolen Jacob's shirt. Maybe I should give it back – FedEx it or something.

"I just want to take a walk around the neighborhood, Mr. Neil. I'll be back in twenty minutes, I swear." Sophia was getting to me. I didn't know whether or not I was coming back. I didn't want to come back. But if I didn't…where would I go? Would I go to La Push, the only other place that I could ever possibly hope to call home? I could smell the trees and hear the waves of First Beach. I could feel the annoyance rising within me whenever Quil called me mutt and my silent wishes for Billy to be the grandfather I never really got to know. I could feel the protective warmth of Jacob's arms around me. There not because I needed the heat, but because I needed the comfort.

I sighed, shifting my weight from foot to foot as I waited for Mr. Neil to move out of my way. Maybe I would go there. Maybe I'd just close my eyes and run – and if I didn't wind up on the highway, crushed by a tractor-trailer, I'd go to La Push.

Not entirely because I wanted to, but because I felt like I needed to.

How was I supposed to get Jacob out of my mind when I kept thinking about him? Well, not him, but…

"Where's Sophia?"

"She left."

Mr. Neil's face turned from expression to pity then to sympathy. He probably thought I had asked her to leave because I couldn't deal with people right now. He probably thought I wanted to get away because I couldn't stand how nice everyone was being to me. He probably thought I just wanted to be alone.

And I did. But I wanted people near me, too. Family. _My_ family.

"Bye," I hurried past him before he could say anything and dashed out the door. I stopped to tie my shoes then started to jog. It felt nice to move, to breathe, and to see my surroundings. Denial had kept my eyes shut up and screwed tight. Denial had made me desperate. Now that there was a clear pathway for oxygen to reach my brain I was able to realize just how stupid I was.

I mean, I told Jacob that I wanted to find _someone else_. What an idiot I was! What kind of person wouldn't want him? He was…

I shook my head, keeping my eyes fixed on the ground as I passed _my_ house. The house where my family had died. I had made a decision. I might as well stick with it; or else I'd spend four months wallowing in self-hatred, depression and probably end up suicidal. Remembering Jacob's reaction when I had accidentally said something aloud about hanging myself made me shudder.

Maybe Trevor _did_ want to hang out with me. Sophia could have Jordan and I could have Trevor. He was pretty: hazel eyes, golden brown hair, nice complexion… Who was I kidding? He could be a model.

I almost choked on my spit at the thought. I sounded like some airhead out of a teen novel. I wasn't that shallow, was I?

"What am I anymore?" I muttered, barely panting. I usually had to stop and turn around when I came to this part of my jog. It was nice to feel a new endurance – thanks to my awakened werewolf genes. I grinned at the thought of volleyball tryouts. I had an okay serve. But I bet it could be a wicked one. _What am I...?_

Stupid question. I knew what I was. I was a werewolf. A heartless, stupid, curious, werewolf, maybe the first to have imprinted and wind up lonely due to the fact that my curiosity would most likely be the death of me.

The thought made me angry. Anything and everything seemed to make me angry now a days. The spontaneous, volatile temper was making me hurt myself. My tongue throbbed in my mouth as I cut through the Patricks' yard and ran across the Floros'. I glanced up at Sophia's window as I passed the side of her house. The light was off.

I scowled as I passed a large tree. I had broken the toaster and stowed it away here. Stupid temper. I guess Liam hadn't meant anything when he was joking about racing in our cars (I had inherited Aki's. I'd be able to drive it when I turned sixteen.) But the thought of sitting in the Baby and driving it… And having it be mine, while Aki grew rotten in the ground… It made my stomach clench like an angry fist while an explosion of heat took hold over me. The idea was repulsive. I had been making toast at the time, and the unfortunate toaster was my outlet of hatred.

I had punched it and it had crunched as if made with aluminum foil. I had to lie and tell Liam that it had fallen out of the cupboard, bounced off of the faucet, landed on the ground, and crushed by my heel.

He had believed me.

I was still baffled by how he had graduated fifth in his class.

I ran through the neighborhood twice, and would have done so all night had Liam not been sent out to search for me. As soon as I got home I took a shower and crawled into my bed. I rested my hand on the pillow and laid my cheek on it, trying to get comfortable. I frowned as I felt something hard on my skin. I sat up and blinked at the ring on my finger. I had forgotten about it.

I kissed it lightly and slid it off of my finger, opening the drawer of my nightstand and putting it carefully inside. I blinked back tears, placing the ring on top of Aki's beloved rag. He called it lucky. He always used it to dry off his tires.

It was probably the first thing I had taken out of the house. My poor brother, not lucky but way beyond unfortunate to have a sister like me. Curious and destructive, not deserving a promise such as love – especially when it came from a person who probably didn't even want to keep it. Jacob.

Poor Baba. Poor Mom. Poor Aki. Poor Jacob. Poor me. I couldn't even have a sleepover with my closest friend, my working kidney, the common sense in my head, the ration of my thoughts, the sugar in my cereal…My So-So.

I fell asleep without praying. I knew I'd realize in the morning that I had been doing so for some time. It was a tradition for me, a familiar ritual that was always performed with family. Traditions were being lost, destroyed, forgotten. If I didn't have at least that, what could I look forward to? Jacob's love? The love of a stranger? Trevor?

At least I was still asking questions. That was something I was sure would never change.

_Sorry I didn't get it up last weekend. It may be the only update this week/weekend, since I'll be extremely busy Friday through Sunday. Sorry! I'll try my very best to get another chapter up this weekend, but in case I don't… thank you __**so much**__ to everyone for the reviews! And the favorites! And the alerts! Gah, I've been trying to give a review to everyone in return, but I always get so busy… No excuses! I'll do it next week, I swear! Oh no, I'm turning into So-So. Hah. Anyway – I'm working on a piece of original fiction, also. So if there are any delays in the future, I blame that or school. Sorry, too many author notes. I'm leaving now. Please drop a review! It makes me super happy! XD_

_--Blessed._


	4. Lovely Apathy

**… Black Hearts before Sorrowful Souls …**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the characters.**_

_Ha, so everyone liked the last chapter? Yay! I'm glad that my answers were satisfying, Lena. If anyone has questions, feel free to ask. I guess I disregarded some in Mistaken… I'll try and answer them, anyway. Sometimes my mind just…does stuff. I've got an itch to write some of my original fiction, but I owe you all this update, considering I haven't in a while… I'll try to get up at least one more chapter during the week. Not sure, but I'll try. Please enjoy._

**3** **– Lovely Apathy**

"So-So!" I hurried to catch up with her. She walked briskly down the street towards the bus stop. She stopped walking and glared at me, squinting her eyes as she regarded me, as if not remembering who I was. I pouted. Were we actually having a fight now? I had managed to calm myself, to tell myself to get over it… The least she could do was acknowledge me. I _was_ twice her height – she wouldn't be able to ignore me for long.

"Good morning Ari. I take it you followed my advice," Her voice was acidic. I nodded. She had told me to wear dark wash jeans. That she noticed.

"Sophia," I wailed, sounding as if I belonged on a soap opera. "I'm sorry! Forgive me!"

She whipped around and I cowered back, expecting a look of outrage. Instead, she smiled broadly and took my arm in hers, skipping the rest of the way to the bus stop. "Of course I forgive you!" She giggled. "What kind of friend would I be if I were angry at you when your actions are only to be expected. You're not used to the fact that you're an…" She lowered her voice like a parent who didn't want a young child to over hear a conversation. "O-R-P-H-A-N." I rolled my eyes. Greeeat, now she thought I was an _illiterate _toddler. Oh well, Sophia was Sophia.

"No, I guess not. Thanks for not being so…sensitive about it."

"Oh, I know you don't care if I say it. Unless…" Her eyebrows twitched as she thought. "Oh…Maybe I had it wrong…"

"No, it's fine, you can say it. A bit of closure, I guess. Besides, you're nicer when you're not sensitive." Despite her appearance, Sophia could be very critical. And cruel. She's made more than one person cry. And most of them weren't girls.

"Nice to know what you'd say about me at my funeral," Again, she batted her eyelashes at the word. I was grateful she was able to talk so freely, despite how rude it seemed. Maybe that was the best way to get over it…

I hurried into the bus when the driver gave the horn an irritated honk. I sat in the back with Sophia, glad we were the first on. I hid my face in my unneeded jacket and waited silently for the ride to school.

**x—x**

"Hey, Ari!"

"Dang – summer was _nice_ to her."

"Idiot, her family died."

"Oh… Still, she'd be the sexiest emogoth I've ever seen."

"So sorry, Ari."

"Sorry for your loss."

"Is it true the murderer ripped your brother's arm off?"

They weren't answered with tears, or with words. The comments were met with empty indifference as if nothing they said could possibly pain me. Sophia pushed me through the crowd, snapping in response to every catcall. Most were for me, though a few were directed towards her: little, gorgeous, Greek genius.

I shook my head when Sophia stopped before my homeroom. I was a D and she was a F. Now, more than ever, I wished our mothers had listened to us when we were younger and adopted one of us into the other family.

"Don't leave me!" I begged, gripping her arm too tightly. "So-So, no!" Maybe playing a level head was too much. I was turning into a clingy, depressing lump of useless.

"We talked about this. You'll be fine. Swear it." Her eyes were fierce. Something about her always made me able to feel better. I had everything I needed except my courage. Sophia was my security blanket, after Eli. Sophia was giving it to me in bits and pieces, and right now I felt like a glutton living in a house where the pantry and refrigerator was deadbolted.

Speaking of Eli, I had shoved him in my bag before I had left. I wanted my courage badly. My stomach was in knots at the thought of having to go to homeroom alone.

"_Ow_. Ari Mari, let go."

It took some effort to release her. She sniffed, looking hurt. "Still got your fever… Text me before you check out, m'kay? I'll get ma to call the school and pick us up." Because Sophia was the lucky friend with a mother who somewhat supported skipping.

"Yes'um," Someone bumped to me. I frowned, realizing I was blocking the entrance to the classroom. "Remind me why I'm checking out."

"Fever, babe. Ari, I have to go. You'll be fine. Cry if you need to, I'm always here!" She flashed a smile before disappearing into the mass of students. I pressed my hand against my chest, comforted by the feel of Aki's jersey against my skin. There was a picture of the two of us on my nightstand that suddenly flashed in my memory. It was my very first day of school and Aki was holding my hand, instructing me in the delicate art of apple giving. Supposedly, I had to choose just the right apple, not too red, not too round…

I felt four years old again. Four-year-olds didn't do well when thrust into an environment surrounded by strangers. All alone.

"Hey, Ari."

Was I pathetic if I said I felt butterflies? I turned to meet the handsome face. His hazel eyes were worried. I didn't say anything for a long moment.

"What's up, Trevor?" I raised my chin, cursing myself mentally. Had I just acted like a guy? Yes – yes I had. Aki's jersey must have been getting to me.

He smiled, his face immediately becoming relieved. He scanned the Green Eagles jersey before giving me a tentative look. He nodded towards the open door. "Ladies first."

I kept my head lowered as I stepped past the conversing students. An uncomfortable hush settled over the room, and my heartbeat became extremely loud in my ears. My heightened hearing allowed me to hear a few whispers, which caused an unpleasant, beastly shudder to travel down my back.

"I bet she'll milk this dry."

"Yeah," A giggle was followed. "Look – she's already got Trevor drooling over her."

"I have to admit, she _did_ gain a figure over summer. She was okay before, now she's just…"

"There's something more…rough about her. I don't know how to explain it. Oh, shut up, Zach – she's looking over here."

I gripped the metal bar of my desk tightly, feeling it mold under my fingers. Trevor noticed my face and tried to ease me into a conversation.

"So, what classes did you sign up for…?"

I started to tell him. And as I talked, I felt my anger disperse, going back to whatever place it went. I chatted with him until the teacher came into the room and started talking to us, reminding us that as upperclassmen we had the responsibility of setting a good example for the sophomores and freshman. And also that running freshman over resulted in too many casts and that boys should stop the prank of wearing cleats on the first day of school.

"Hey, how about Sophia's party?"

"She's really excited about it," I smiled. "I don't really know what she's doing, though. It won't be big or anything – she told me. Greek theme, as she wants to show off souvenirs."

"Greek…olives, right?" He smiled, a few cute wrinkles appeared on his nose. I smiled back, glad that Sophia wasn't here so that I may talk about her with him. I was also glad that the teacher in the front of the room was one that didn't seem to care if students ignored him and talked among themselves. But I wasn't glad that I could hear, because people were still talking – and for some reason I was still listening, though I was engrossed in our meaningless conversation.

"Wonder if they'll get her, too…"

"Why did they even…? Her dad's from somewhere else. Maybe he owes someone money…"

"Maybe."

I gripped the metal bar again, and nodded to answer some question Trevor had asked. Was I okay? Yes, yes I was. But those kids talking in the back… They weren't.

"Ow," I exhaled softly, looking down at my hands. Two drops of blood stained the linoleum tiles. The twisted metal cut into my palms. Trevor continued talking, not noticing. I turned my head to glance at the four kids who sat in the back. They all became quiet. I returned my attention to Trevor and placed my foot over the drops of blood. I gave an empty smile, trying my hardest to force down the anger that had come back up, along with the sick taste of indifference.

**JPOV.**

"Jacob."

I looked up at Billy, closing my English book. He sat across from me, his face stern while his eyes showed concerned. I sighed.

"Dad, don't."

"You need to get out."

"I _do_ get out. I walked home."

"You know what I mean."

I leaned back, folding my arms against my chest. Billy narrowed his eyes and I narrowed mine.

"I don't want to have to call your sisters."

"And what are they going to do?" I retorted angrily.

"You know how Rachel can get." Billy shrugged. I knew exactly what he was trying to do. He wanted me to go find someone before he made me. Or worse – Rachel came over and made me. To think I always thought he wouldn't have minded some quality father-son time. He just wanted me out of the house.

"Jacob, don't think I don't care or anything. It's just that…" Billy grew interested in the grain of the kitchen table. "As soon as I think you get over her, you're all…again."

"Get over which her?" I muttered. "The dead one or the one I just happened to _imprint_ on, that just happened to _imprint_ on me, too, but has decided to find someone else?"

Billy sighed and pushed away from the table, rolling out of the kitchen with a disgusted look on his face. "Well, go find some other girl! It'd be better than sulking around the house all day. Ask Leah or Kim, they've got friends."

"D-Dad!" I started after him, appalled. It had happened only a week ago, but I was already fantasizing about him, thanks to Leah. And, oddly, I was starting to feel incredibly jealous, thanks to Sam. Our pack was becoming a little too emotional, thanks to me. Thanks to Sam. Thanks to Leah. Thanks to…

Him. Daniel Hunt. Leah's new boyfriend. She had amazed us all when she announced the sudden relationship. We were sure it wasn't an imprint, but Sam had still gotten angry over it. Surprising. Despite this, Daniel was not the cause of all my problems; just a convenient scapegoat who happened to be a photographer of Quileute blood who needed a few nature shots for his magazine.

"Dad," I complained loudly. "Leah wouldn't notice me if I tied her underwear to the totem in front of the school! I'm fine by myself. Imprinting's overrated."

Billy wheeled around to face me. His frustration almost rolled off of him in waves. I started towards the door, knowing too well what that look meant. It was time to get out.

"I'm going to Quil's." I didn't turn around to see if my father had acknowledged my departure. I simply slipped off my shoes and took a running start out the door. I almost wanted to return human as soon as I had phased. Leah was out.

_Hey, Jake._ It was weird to hear her being so…nice. Maybe I should be grateful to Daniel. He had somehow been able to turn Leah from a temptress into an actual being. With…feelings. I narrowly avoided colliding with a tree.

_Hi, Leah. How's Daniel?_

_Fine. Hey, are you going to Quil's?_

_Um…_ I was reluctant to tell her, but if she cared then she already knew the answer to her question._ Yeah._

I guess I bored her, because she wandered away after a few moments of picking up on nothing but my scattered thoughts. I found some clothes Embry had stuck deeply into the hollow of a tree and changed into them, making a mental note to replace them when I had the time, but knowing me, Embry was sure to be caught naked by one of us. I knocked on Quil's door and kept my face blank as he opened it.

"Jake! What are you doing here?"

"Dad was on my case," I sighed, looking down at my bare feet. He'd spent a ton on shoes. I'd have to thank him more…

"Come on in," Quil stepped aside. I immediately landed on his couch and let out a loud sigh.

"Hey," Quil mumbled, returning to the table where he was doing his work. "Did you get number six on the English homework? 'What word do I associate with Shakespeare…?'"

"Quil, I think it's different for everyone."

He glanced up at me, trying to see if I was joking. I laughed at his expression. "Really?"

"Yeah, Quil. Really."

"Well…what did you put?"

"William."

"Cool, good answer," Quil jotted down the word then his page into his English book. He gave me a long stare. I sighed again.

"Don't ask."

"Am I the only one who's been having dreams...? And it's not like with you and Bella. It's worse. It's… It's just…_ Daniel's a guy_." Quil shuddered. "And yesterday I was _this_ close to unzipping his pants," He held his thumb and index finger so close that they were almost touching. I nodded in understanding. Both of us made retching sounds.

"I say tomorrow we give him the test," Quil went on.

"What test?" I quirked my eyebrows, not understanding what Quil was talking about.

"The one to see if he's afraid of dogs."

I smiled and nodded, more than happy to blow off some steam, even if Daniel was the source of my frustration and hate. The more I thought of it, the less I cared. The next four months would probably be the most boring, most suspenseful, most awful four months I'd spend in my entire life. Because the entire time I'd be wondering if… And if all my ifs became did happens, well… Life would be a real pain. But what were the chances of Ari falling in love with some random guy? What were the chances of her totally forgetting about me and not caring one bit about the pack? What if she did care about the pack… What if she married him, moved here, had his children and…

"Du-ude!" Quil hissed, pushing his book away and slapping a piece of paper onto the table. "We need a plan! What are we going to do to piss off Paul?"

"You want to involve Paul in this?" Sam would find out within the first couple of minutes, if Paul had anything to do with it. Quil nodded, too enthusiastic. It must have been a terrible dream.

"Daniel deserves it," What he really meant was that he didn't want to have to relive Leah's fantasies.Quil ignored me as he started to scribble madly on the paper. I folded my arms over my chest and watched him, thinking it'd be better to leave now and not get involved, though I found myself not caring. After all, we had a duty to see whether or not this Daniel person was good enough for Leah. Whether or not we liked her, we'd make sure her boyfriend was a dog lover. I leaned forward to read Quil's writing, and gave a rare, bright grin. Quil looked up and grinned back.

I hoped Daniel was a super hardcore tree hugger. I hoped he loved dogs.

I hoped that was the only love I'd have to worry about for a while. At least, for the next four months.

"We'll set his truck on fire!" Quil cheered. I frowned and shook my head.

"Daniel better love dogs."

_I apologize for the filler. Family's over, school sucks, umm… That's it. I've been sick, and tired, and lazy. I'm sorry everyone. I'll try and update again this weekend. Thanks to all the reviewers. Peace and Love._


	5. First

**… Black Hearts before Sorrowful Souls …**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the characters.**_

_Again, I apologize for the awfulness of the last chapter. Please enjoy._

**4 – First**

The sheet billowed around us, warmed by the lights it hung on. It amazed me that we had managed to get here – after such a short period of time. It hadn't even been hours before he had undressed himself and draped the sheet over the chandelier. Sophia and I had stared at the sheet for about twenty minutes. On the twenty-first minute, she snapped her fingers and pointed to me. I was now, officially, her personal ladder, stepstool, and doormat. "What a mess!" Sophia huffed, throwing a plastic cup into a garbage bag. I nodded in agreement, sweeping the floor. Sophia sat down and played with a piece of streamer. "Let's do something."

I motioned to the torn up dining room. "What do you call this, then?"

"Something fun! I know, let's go swimming – I've still got some bathing suits I haven't used from this summer…"

"Swimming? Swimming? So-So, do you know how cold it is outside?"

"Yes. Not like it matters to you, with your fever."

I shrugged, unable to say anything as Sophia pulled me in the direction of her room. "Daddy, we're going to the beach."

"The beach?" Mr. Floros and I asked in unison. Why would we go to the beach when she had a pool?

"Yeah. Casey got sick and… Just don't look at the pool." It was enough of an answer for the both of us. Sophia tugged me in the direction of her room, directing me to a bathing suit she had already laid out. I stared at the two piece for a long while before shaking my head.

"No. I don't want to go anywhere. I only stayed to help you clean up, and now your mother's calling Merry Maids. You're not dragging me to the beach."

"We'll get daddy to drive us, and he can go do something. I don't know, take a nature walk."

"…Nature walk? With sand?"

"There's some woods nearby, I'm sure."

"W-Where…? Where are you taking me?"

She unfolded a map she had printed off of MapQuest and pointed, as if I could read the lines. "First Beach! On an Indian reservation-"

"-Native American."

"Sorry. Not ignorant. Anyway, it has a beach. We'll go there."

"Sophia," I whined. "We're not beach people! We're the 'most likely to be valedictorian' who spend their time in the library. No beach. No bathing suit, or whatever this thing is."

"But I bought it for you!" Sophia pouted. I sighed loudly.

"I appreciate it, really. I'll try it on if I try out for swim team – and get expelled."

"Ari!"

"So-So!"

Twenty minutes later, I found myself on my way to the place I wanted to get away from, not go towards. I tried reasoning with Mr. Floros, since Sophia was set on showing of her tanned, sixteen-year-old, short self. "Psychos, psychos with guns. Um…drugs! Alcohol!" He laughed at everything I said, saying he would be there to watch us. What did I have to do, fling myself out the window?

That actually wasn't a bad idea…

"Roll up the window," Sophia hissed. I did so, closing my eyes as the sound of her father's audio book lulled me to sleep. I woke up to a continuous poking in my shoulder. I glared at Sophia. She grinned.

"Daddy's going to walk us down. Then he's going for his nature walk."

"I have the flash light and everything." Mr. Floros parked the car – in a place too dark for two teenage girls and a forty-something man. I felt uneasy, even though I had superhuman strength. What time was it…? Was Sophia crazy?

"…You don't want to be caught alone in this forest," I whispered, gripping the headrest tightly. Mr. Floros and Sophia gave me an identical stare.

"What? There aren't any crazy murderers out here or anything, is there?"

"Yeah – and how would you know?"

I gave Sophia a shaky smile. How would I know? The vampires were gone… And I was quick, if anything happened… But nothing would happen. And the pack was here, anyway. Maybe I could shun my responsibilities for a moment, just to have fun with Sophia in ridiculously skimpy outfits in the cold water.

No. No, I couldn't do that.

"Ari Mari, you okay?"

"Yeah. Let's go." I grabbed my towel and climbed out of the car. Mr. Floros turned off the car and the three of us proceeded to make our way down to the beach. A cool breeze danced around us, causing Sophia to shudder and Mr. Floros to shrink back into his jacket. I embraced it; a familiar smell carried on its breath.

They were closer than I wanted.

"Girls, I'll just walk along the beach, incase you want to leave soon – it's cold. Just call when you're ready."

"Bye, daddy!" Sophia started to shed her clothes, dropping them in a pile on the towel I spread. I followed her lead, folding my clothes before wrapping my arms around myself and staring back towards the direction the wind had come from.

Was something burning?

**JPOV)**

"Paul, man, we were kidding!"

"I swear-! All of you are dead!"

"_Ruuun!_"

Embry, Quil and I charged down the beach, our laughter turning into shrieks of panic as the sound of Paul's clothes ripping ended. He was coming for us.

"Burn his tires?" Embry panted beside me, looking over his shoulder. "Are you insane?"

"Sorry!" Quil yelped, chucking a rock at Paul. It whizzed by his muzzle. The three of us circled the Clearwaters', where Daniel was. We had been running in circles for about a half-hour. We could hear Daniel inside, trying to persuade Leah into letting him see what was going on. The only reason he was staying at her house was because the resort was full and there was an open guestroom (if he even slept in that bed, but suggesting otherwise would be suggesting something against Leah's judgement) available and Sue was more than happy to have him.

"I thought it was Daniel's tire! Paul, I'm sorry! It was dark, and-"

"Oh – we're so dead when Leah tells Sam."

"I think he hears us. Hey… Paul's gone."

Embry paused beside me, squinting into the darkness. I frowned at the car we had come to. It didn't belong to anyone we knew. In fact, it didn't look like anything anyone on the reservation had. I sighed.

"Well, I'm glad to have heard Daniel cry like a baby for the past thirty minutes. So… Beach, anyone?"

"Quil, it's past twelve."

"So?"

"Dad'll-"

"Dad'll be expecting details when you return. I told him where we were and what we were doing. No, you don't have to thank me."

"Paul's going to get us back," Embry mumbled as we started towards the beach, all on edge, expecting Paul to erupt, a few trees knocked over in his quake. "And then Sam's going to kill us. And then Leah's going to dance on our graves…"

"Hey," I stopped, frowning. "Do you see that?"

"Two girls in the ocean? At what…twelve AM? That's not smart."

I shifted my weight from foot to foot, feeling my heels sink in the sand. One of the girls tugged at the other, pulling her onto the beach. She was considerably taller than her companion, the faint moonlight bathed her muscles with a faint glow. She raised her head and looked at the three of us, her hair covered her face. I narrowed my eyes at the sight of a familiar scar that twisted itself across her abdomen.

"Ari…?"

"What?" Quil nudged me. "That's not her, is it?"

The wind shifted enough to answer our questions. Yes, that was her, and someone else. Why was she here? I couldn't suppress my excitement at the thought of her returning to me, to us, to what we could have. And so soon! I frowned as her friend started to pull her in our direction. Maybe it was too soon.

"Hi, ladies," I stared at Embry out of the corner of my eye, as did Ari. Since when was he so suave? "It's a little late, isn't it? And the party's next week…"

The shorter girl, Ari's friend I supposed, glared up at Embry. I didn't pay attention to what she said, my eyes hungrily devouring the sight of Ari in a white two piece. She wasn't looking at me. She wasn't looking at any of us, her eyes scanning the ocean, fleeting and panicked. She didn't want to be here. It probably wasn't even her idea to come. It was so frustrating, having her right in front of me and not being able to say anything…

"So, you're natives? That's cool. Me and Ari are from Seattle."

"Ari," I mumbled, smiling at the pained look on her face. "Nice name."

"What's yours?"

"I'm Sophia and – oh, there's my dad. He's going to ask questions…" She waved to us, taking Ari by her hand again. She cast me a glance over her shoulder, and I could tell by the look in her eyes that she didn't want to be anywhere near me. She wasn't done searching. She wasn't ready for commitment yet. Her body language could have fooled anyone, making them think that she was completely comfortable around us – but her face was torn. I knew my face expressed the same emotion, because it was the first time I was actually forced to face the fact that she wanted nothing to do with me. I had to actually see her face to face and know that at least, for now, I was the last thing on her mind and that someone else came first.

"Anyone for digging our graves?"

_Sorry! Took so long… It'll speed up, I swear. Um… Sheesh. Bad chapter, again. Next will be better, I swear! All Jacob POV, I think. Or all Ari. Dunno. I'm sick and preoccupied with my original fiction, but I'll try to find my muse for the next chapter. Expect an update soon. I feel terrible for not updating…Goodness. Anywho, drop a review!_


	6. Not the Usual

**… Black Hearts before Sorrowful Souls …**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the characters.**_

_((whines)) Sorry all! I apologize for the last couple of chapters, not good at all… I'll go back and edit, I'm sure. On the bright side, my muse has returned! And with it –later chapters, which now I can't wait to get to! Hopefully my updates will get quick again. Anywho, please enjoy._

**5 – Not The Usual**

"Yo, Sophia!"

"When is he going to stop that?" Sophia asked me as we made our way to our usual table, half the cafeteria turning to watch us. Could Jordan be any louder? Could anyone be any louder? Maybe Jacob. Or Quil, or Sam. Definitely Paul. I was sure Embry could surprise us in a 'find your echo' contest…

I shook my head, slamming my books down on the table, barely noticing it buckle under the force at which I dropped my things. Trevor's smile faltered as he watched me. "Hi, Ari."

"Hi," I crunched my first empty bottle. Jordan eyed me.

"Didn't you just get that?"

"She's…uh…staying hydrated for volleyball, aren't you?" Sophia's eyes told me to nod. I did so, opening my math book and staring at the symbols and numbers until my head started to hurt. Trevor cleared his throat.

"I'm getting a pizza. Want anything?" Before I knew it, a list of things came out of my mouth and I handed him a twenty. Jordan stood up slowly.

"He might need some help bringing all of that back… See you in a bit." Sophia watched the two of them head into line before turning to me. I scanned my homework, trying to double-check it in my head while counting on my fingers. Volleyball tryouts ended today at five… Then I had the house to myself until eight…

I was aware of Sophia talking to me, but I had become mute. Selectively, like I had been the entire day. Or, the entire week. Week…what day was it? Friday? What was I doing today? Something…

"So, we're up for the movie, right?" Trevor slid my purchases to me along with my change. I slipped the four dollars in my pocket and started on my chips, shrugging. The amusement on his face agitated me, but I had been on edge lately, so I ignored it like all other things. "I'll pick you up, I guess… Is seven okay?"

"Mmhm," Six eyes fell on me as I continued to eat. I heard Jordan say something to Sophia that made her gasp.

"_No! _Of course not! She's still a-! She's just…um…"

It was silent at our table for the remaining twenty minutes. Sophia and Jordan left seconds before the bell rang; something about the way he held her books and walked with her made me jealous. Trevor stood up and took my trash for me (he had to make two trips), waiting patiently as I stood. He offered to help me with my work but I shook my head, still thinking.

"You do like me, don't you?"

"Huh?" I blinked at him, frowning at his laughter. He shrugged.

"You've been spacey. I was just wondering if you were okay."

"I'm fine." My reply made him quiet. As we entered the shroud of bodies I thought he had left, but glanced to the side to see him still walking beside me even though his class was in another direction.

"I really like you, Ari."

"Thanks."

"I'm serious." He paused as I came to my locker, watching me, probably expecting some touch of emotion to appear on my face. "Ari, I understand you're going through some tough stuff, but avoiding people all together isn't going to help anything."

I slammed my locker closed a bit too hard, wincing at the sound of my broken lock falling to the floor. My eyes widened at the sight of the door. I quickly moved so that I covered it with my back, relived to see that Trevor had been too busy talking to notice. "Have you been talking with Sophia?"

"Not really. Hey, I've got to go, but think about it, okay? I liked you better…before. I'm sure we could get you there, if we tried." He tossed me a smile over his shoulder as he hurried down the hall. I stared after him before turning to my damaged locker and sighing. No way I could fix that. I picked up my shattered lock and forced it into my pocket, running to Mr. Tripp's classroom, barely making it to my seat before the tardy bell rang. I sank down in front of Sophia, opening my notebook and trying to pay attention. The feel of the lock against my thigh made me wonder what exactly Trevor had said that had gotten me angry. He said he understood. Everyone could say they understood, but it didn't mean that they did. Something about him made me think of someone else. And that someone else made me angry. And I only became angry at that someone else because I was truly angry at myself.

"How does he wind up in everything?" I growled.

"What?" I felt Sophia's pencil on my shoulder, asking for elaboration. Mr. Tripp stopped talking and gave me an odd stare.

"Who winds up in everything?"

"Um… Christopher Columbus…? Yeah. He's _everywhere_."

"Your grade just went down a couple points," I heard Sophia laugh softly as Mr. Tripp returned to his PowerPoint with a baffled expression. "We're talking about the influences of religion in early civilizations."

"Oh. My bad."

**x—x**

At the sound of the whistle I proceeded to run down the court, knees high, hair in my face. Beside me, Sophia did the same along with fourteen other girls. When our drills were over we started working on positioning, leading up to a scrimmage. The ball was balanced in my palm right before I squatted down and served. There were cheers from my team when it was evident the ball was going to make it past the net. Last year, I hadn't done so well.

Then the ball came in contact with the wood, coming so fast that it terrified Megan and she let out a shriek, diving to avoid being hit. The force of the impact made the ball explode, sending strips of material everywhere. I stared at the ball with wide eyes, wondering if it was possible for me to sneak away without anyone noticing.

One by one, eyes found me, shivering with clenched fists and a parted mouth. Coach Paige studied the concave spot where the ball had landed, then looked up at me. She couldn't look anymore scared if I had a gun pressed against her head.

"N-Nice serve, Ari…"

Sophia's shaken voice was enough to cause tears to spring to my eyes. Tears of rage blurred my vision as my trembling increased. I hurried out of the gym, pushing past the girls, ducking under the net, and running into the locker room. Once inside I released a growl that shook my chest as I punched the nearest locker blindly. It crumpled within itself, the contents inside spilling out of the newly made opening. I sank to the unsanitary ground and buried my face in my shaking hands, trying my hardest to breathe. The tremors did not stop. When I realized this, I quickly removed my shoes and kneepads, hurrying to my locker and pulling off the door without a second thought. I shoved all of my belongings into my bag and took off down the PE hall, tearing down the hall until I was in the student parking lot. The only cars parked either belonged to cheerleaders practicing for a game or idiots doing drugs with the windows rolled up. I hid myself in a crevice of the school, an obscured corner made by three halls merging into two, each branching off in a different direction. I waited until I could actually hear the coughs coming from the clouded windows of the parked cars and could smell the scent of someone smoking nearby before I took another breath.

This was the third time in the past two weeks that this had happened. The first time that I had ruined the volleyball. Monday I had somehow managed to bring down part of the roof when I was passing the ball to Whitney. Tuesday I had accidentally ripped the sink from the wall in the bathroom at the Neils'. Something was happening to me. Never before had I just gone crazy like this – werewolf or not, I wasn't a person with a temper.

I stayed in my corner for thirty minutes, ticking the seconds off in my head. When I thought it was safe, I followed the shadow of the school until I had reached the football field. I quickly shot across it, sure that no one was there to see me. I ran through backyards and jumped fences until I reached my own backyard. I sat by the fence and stared across it into the Neils' yard, watching no where particular until I could hear my phone ringing in my bag, probably Mr. or Mrs. Neil calling to check on me, worried. It was when I saw the headlights of Trevor's car that I realized just how late it was.

To my amazement, he sat and waited for me. It took me a while to become human enough that I had fingers able to pick up the phone. "Trev! I see you. Sorry I'm late, I'll be out in a second."

"Okay."

I fished the key out of my bag and let myself in through the back door. While getting dressed, I called Mrs. Neil and told her that I was in the shower and missed her call. I told her where I was going in a rushed breath, coughing as I swallowed the perfume I had walked through.

"Are you okay, Ari?"

"Y-Yeah. Fine. I'll see you…tenish?"

"Have fun, dear." I tossed my phone into my purse and snatched it, hurrying down the steps and out the front door where Trevor waited, hands in his pockets. His troubled face broke into a smile as he looked me over. An unknown humor lit his eyes, and I had to stop myself from slapping my chest to make sure I had a bra. Trevor looked down at his feet, and I used the moment to make sure that I was fully equipped. I heaved a relieved sigh.

"Sophia told me something happened at tryouts and that you might not make it."

The shrug played my shoulders like an unfeeling puppet master before I had time to comprehend the action. "Nothing usual."

Trevor nodded, opening the passenger door for me. I slid in and buckled my seat belt, humming to myself, my leg bouncing with anxiety. It was just a movie, no big deal. By Monday everyone would think I was on steroids, and Coach Paige may come to school in complete body armor. No big deal. Mr. Tripp probably thought I was the dumbest student he'd ever seen. No big deal.

"Are you okay?"

"Why does everyone ask me that?"

"I'm sorry. Let's see. How was practice?"

"Please, not that either."

"Um… School?"

"No."

Trevor shrugged and turned on the radio, probably uncomfortable with the silence. I turned it down until I could barely hear it and tapped my fingers against my leg. "If you left someone who promised to always be there for you, no matter what, just to…find yourself… What would you call that?"

He didn't answer me right away, turning the radio up again. It was some song that had probably become popular while I was away. I bit my tongue, waiting for him to respond, trying to force myself just to think of the present and nothing else.

"Well, if this person will always be there for you, then I guess this person wouldn't mind you finding yourself. Why?"

"Just a question." I smiled slightly, watching the road as he drove, not talking to me though I knew he wanted to. He probably wanted to ask me why Sophia thought I wouldn't show, if he didn't know already.

"The volleyball exploded," I mumbled. He laughed; probably thinking the sudden sigh some sort of muse. I sat up and stared him down as we reached a red light, suddenly bursting to tell him what I was, just to see. "I'm serious. It exploded. Go into the gym on Monday, there'll be a huge dip in the floor."

"Ari, are you okay?"

I let my head hit the window. Why was that always the usual response? I wake up and that's the first thing Mr. or Mrs. Neil asks. Sophia asks. Trevor asks. Everyone asks. And it drove me crazy. It had never bothered me when Jacob asked, I don't think… Maybe it had. A lot of things were bothering me. I was always on edge… And it was because of him. Somehow he managed to sneak his way into every single thought…

"Yes, Trevor," I smiled, hoping that maybe, somehow, he'd stop asking. "I'm fine."

_There we go, getting somewhere. Ah, um… Next chapter is Jacob's POV, and it would have progressed some in time, a couple of weeks, I suppose. I don't think I have enough patience to make half, or more than half, of the story just about the four month thing, lol. Please review! I've almost gotten forty! Already! Amazing… Thanks to everyone! If not for you, the story'd be a lost cause under my bed._


	7. The Lowly Author Apologizes

_**Heeeeeey, everyone!**_

First, I'd like to apologize. School was hectic. And whew, who knew I had a life? Have to watch brothers, currently two weeks into a four week program...

BUT!

I haven't stopped writing BHBSS, I'm happy to tell you.

Heck, I've started a plot for the third and fourth. Many apologies, those nice enough to keep checking back. PLEASE DO NOT CURSE ME OUT WHEN YOU READ THIS AND SEE IT ISN'T A CHAPTER.

I get a weekend break from tomorrow to Sunday, so I hooooope to get you a chapter. Won't be lengthy, because, now, if I try to do length this is going to go nowhere.

:3 Don't worry, though. I have a lot in store for you all! I'm sooooo soooo sooo sorry! Jacob's been haunting my dreams.

Seriously! He's really meeean! He puts a flashlight to his face and chases me down a mountain, but I could fly so it's all good!

Soooo sooo sorry!

Please forgive me! Schoolschoolschoolwatchingautisticbrotherschoolschoolownfictionschool.

Expect something! I'm. So. Terribly. Sorry.

I actually have a conscience about leaving this story for so long! Lemmi tell you, that's a good sign!

Apologizing again,

Blessed.


	8. Family: What You’re Stuck With

**_... Black Hearts before Sorrowful Souls …_**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the characters.**_

_I personally enjoyed this chapter, just because of its randomness. Hope you do too. And I'm SO FLIPPIN SORRY it's taken SO LONG! I'm amazed – I have a life. Who knew? School, family, my own original fiction… Has drained my muse. But Jacob has kept me motivated! Yes! This chapter doesn't make up for all the lost time, I apologize, so I'll hope to hurry it up and get Jacob and Ari back together…If, maybe, if…neh._

**6 – Family: What You're Stuck With.**

"Let's take missus Duduyemi for instance," Mr. Tripp sat on the edge of my desk. I stared and slowly pulled away the notes I had been taking, placing my notebook in my lap while glaring at the wall, hoping the assistant principal wouldn't chose this time to actually perform his supposed class inspections. "She has a remarkable background. Nigerian, correct? Well, she has it a bit easier than those of you who'd need tons of research just to narrow down one or two specific cultures. She could just talk to her parents…" He stopped talking when he realized what he had said. I heard Sophia snort "idiot!" behind me.

"I-It's okay," I smiled. "My mother was Native American. I could talk to my Grandma about it." I surprised myself with my easy use of past tense.

Mr. Tripp looked relieved. He nodded. "As for Sophia Floros…"

I pursed my lips as I thought. I really didn't want to ask anymore questions regarding where I came from. If I failed this project… Sixty percent of this period's grade would suffer. No way I could do it. I could play the grieving child card, but I was sure colleges didn't look at that sort of thing.

The bell for early lunch rang. I started to leave when Mr. Tripp stopped me.

"I'm really sorry about… Sometimes I don't think. But – I could give you an easy grade, considering how much this project demands and your lack of adequate resources…"

"I-"

"Before you reject – think about transferring to a school near or on the reservation, if your Native ancestors are on a reservation, that is. Mingle, have interviews, even let a student stay with you. Three weeks isn't that long."

I studied him, almost biting through my tongue when I realized my next words would confirm my decision to actually go with his proposal. "And I get an A?"

"If you document well, give me an interesting paper on your family's history, and have a sufficient family tree."

I continued to stare at him, edging towards the door where Sophia paced, able to read the look on his face. He wanted double clarification. He wanted me to say that I was up for it again. I bit the insides of my cheeks, smiling. "Okay, Mr. Tripp. Thanks!"

"So, he admitted he was an idiot? You're doing your project?"

I shook my head then nodded. Three weeks in La Push. Three of my four months were up. I could handle one more – it wasn't like I was staying in Jacob's house. Maybe I could ignore everyone.

I laughed; leaving Sophia confused as she followed me towards my now mangled locker.

**JPOV.**

I stared at the board, trying my best to look interested in the topic as the teacher drawled on. I could see something coming towards me, and before I knew it, my hand was out, swatting away the textbook. It fell to the floor, causing all those asleep and awake to jump up.

"Man, if you took woodshop, your whole arm would be gone."

I stared at Embry, my mind not making the connection as the teacher started towards us. "Mr. Black and Mr. Call – it would be appreciated if you respected your class materials." He was more than ready to continue talking, but the bell rang. I picked up my books and quickly left before he could get a pen to write Billy another note. Quil and Embry hurried after me.

"Question," Quil mumbled. "Can vampires get HIV?"

Both Embry and I stopped walking. At least ten people ran into us, two dropping their things and actually falling, though we took no notice. The distracted vacuity of Quil's face was unbelievable. The idea that he was actually serious was unbelievable.

"Think about it! They drink from someone who has it…"

Embry shook his head. "It doesn't matter. They're immortal. And don't phase today, man. If Sam…" He made a face. "If Leah…" Our test hadn't done much to phase Daniel. In fact, it had only made him more interested. And it had left Leah pissed. So much so, that she was worse than she had been before Daniel had come. It took some major screwing up to get her that mad.

"Yikes. Forget I said anything. Wait up, Jake! Question: what happens when you set soap of fire?"

"Liquid or solid?"

I gaped at Embry. He shrugged, pausing as we came to his locker. "This seems like a rational question."

"For those who slept through Chemistry, yes. Neither of you will be left unattended at the next bonfire."

"Whatever you say, mommy," Quil pouted, taking my hand and skipping forward. People stared at us, and not for the usual reasons.

"He's just sour over," Embry caught my glare and shrugged. "You know who."

Quil pursed his lips, stopping at the door before his next class. "Which you know who?"

"The one who doesn't stink. You know, rhymes with _sorry_."

"Oh! Gotcha."

How could I survive another month of this? My eyes widened. I may have to survive a lifetime of this. Of course, they'd notice my sensitivity about the subject after a few years, maybe, but still…

I frowned and shook my head. It wouldn't be a few years. It'd never be a few years. It had just a few months, that was all, a few months that would now be one, then a few weeks, a few days… Nothing I couldn't handle. After all, I'd only have this happen to me twice now. First with my actual love with choice and second with my imprinted. It couldn't get any worse.

"Hey, man! I forgot to write my essay, do you think…? Maybe I could…"

I stared at Quil who had dropped his books and jogged back to me. I squinted. "You know word for word duplicates may set the teacher off?"

Quil frowned, then eyed Embry. He snorted. "Why don't you write about the rise of HIV positive vampires?" The response resulted in a flash of thought across Quil's face. I walked past him, afraid to know.

_Apologizing agaaaain. Not that good of a chapter, twas a sketch in my notebook and I'm a bit braindead. Stuff will happen! Things will pick up! I sweeeear!_

_Blessed._


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